The most joy in one’s wife

Each married man is faced at all times with two doors. Through one comes the joy of his wife. The other is the door through which one might allow the many provocative things that the adversary has to offer, ranging from the least to the most serious. These all involve someone other than our wife. It is comprised of gratification either independent of one’s spouse, or of gratification that in any way involves someone who isn’t one’s spouse. In my opinion it is a fundamental, unalterable, part of the nature of these two doors than if one allows the adversary’s door of gratification through others to be open even the least bit, then the door of joy in one’s wife swings to be almost entirely closed. It doesn’t close entirely if one doesn’t do anything outside the bounds of chastity – a crack will remain open and how wide that crack is depends upon how seriously one has opened the other door. The important thing is that opening the adversary’s door even a little largely closes the door of joy in one’s wife so it doesn’t take much to close the door of joy in one’s wife almost to a crack. It will, by and large, stay open that much as long as one doesn’t go so far as to cut off oneself from one’s wife completely through serious sin. The great secret to opening the door of joy in one’s wife fully is to make the extra effort needed to keep the adversary’s door completely closed. Other aspects related to the divinely appointed use of one’s body almost certainly come into play, like submitting fully to the Lord’s counsel to multiply and replenish the earth.

If you don’t believe me. Try it. Not just for a day, give it some time. Put aside any pretense that you can look at an image that is provocative and that it doesn’t affect you for whatever reason you have rationalized. I am not talking about pornography addictions. I am talking about the small things we nickel and dime ourselves to death with. I am talking about the sleaze that surrounds us that we are “big enough” to look at without thinking about, or to say “it doesn’t bother me” or to say that we can “ignore” it. And don’t do it half way. Do it 100%. Doing so might mean turning off a lot of television, movies, and closing a lot of books. But it is my believe that if you will delight the Lord in your respect for his daughters, he will magnify your delight in your wife.

Though, yes, if you aren’t submitting to the purpose for which the fountains of life were given, if you are intentionally damming them up, I can’t say that I think it is still true in that case at all.

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