I liked the final paragraphs of my previous post, which was too long, so I am posting them here separately:
Our extreme forms of politeness and kindness are not charity, and they are swallowing up other principles of the gospel. We have adopted them in part because they make us feel like we are being good and spiritual while partaking almost daily of media that requires the most ridiculous levels of rationalization to pretend they are not offensive to Jesus Christ.
We call the Pharisees pious, but feel shocked at the least violation of the extreme politeness that we think is love. If someone were to condemn a man for living with his girlfriend, we would feel shocked at the uncharitable behavior of the one condemning them. How revolting we have become in this regard. We are no less pious than the Pharisees were, but we hide our sins behind piety about politeness instead of behind the piety about the Sabbath and tithing.