Each married man is faced at all times with two doors. Through one comes the joy of his wife. The other is the door through which one might allow the many provocative things that the adversary has to offer, ranging from the least to the most serious. These all involve someone other than our wife. It is comprised of gratification either independent of one’s spouse, or of gratification that in any way involves someone who isn’t one’s spouse. In my opinion it is a fundamental, unalterable, part of the nature of these two doors than if one allows the adversary’s door of gratification through others to be open even the least bit, then the door of joy in one’s wife swings to be almost entirely closed. It doesn’t close entirely if one doesn’t do anything outside the bounds of chastity – a crack will remain open and how wide that crack is depends upon how seriously one has opened the other door. The important thing is that opening the adversary’s door even a little largely closes the door of joy in one’s wife so it doesn’t take much to close the door of joy in one’s wife almost to a crack. It will, by and large, stay open that much as long as one doesn’t go so far as to cut off oneself from one’s wife completely through serious sin. The great secret to opening the door of joy in one’s wife fully is to make the extra effort needed to keep the adversary’s door completely closed. Other aspects related to the divinely appointed use of one’s body almost certainly come into play, like submitting fully to the Lord’s counsel to multiply and replenish the earth.
As this lesson becomes truly internalized, as one fully realizes that to have the full joy of one’s wife, one must completely close the door of taking even the least sensual gratification in those who are not ones wife, and as one comes to an understanding that this is an implicit, unchangeable fact, one begins to see everything the adversary offers behind his door not so much as a temptation, but as something one would have to be foolishly demented to consider partaking of. As one correctly begins to understand the costs of the least moral impropriety, one recognizes that Satan never tempts a man except when he believes that by doing so he will rob the man of dramatically more joy than whatever temporary pleasure that man takes in committing the sin. Let me be clear here that by least moral impropriety I mean things like believing one is “big enough” that media that is sultry, or has innuendo don’t “bother you” any more and are fine to partake of. Similarly for deciding that one is big enough that a movie scene with short skirts or low cut dresses is OK to watch, or to not exercise caution with a member of the opposite gender dressed immodestly. That is right, I mean closing the adversaries door all the way, not just closing it to affairs, sex scenes, and explicit lyrics. It seems like a sacrifice. It affects the movies you watch, the music you listen to, the things you read. As far as I can tell, it agrees with the recommendations of the brethren. But rightly understood, it is the only rational choice. The adversary’s door must be fully closed on that topic, or one only partakes of a trickle of the joy of marriage.
That is the nature of all sin, it is a bizarre perversion of the path to Joy Heavenly Father offers us. It may not look bizarre at first, but as our views become clearer and we see sin for what it really is, knowing something about its unalterable costs, we recognize every choice to sin as a bizarre departure from what our reason would dictate – that we would never enter into any sort of sin, because the costs and consequences are so great, and the alternative joys so wonderful, but all lost when we give way to sin. Apparently when we get to the point that we are sanctified and washed white in the blood of the Lamb we will be able to see this truth with perfect clarity.
Alma 13:12 Now they, after being sanctified by the Holy Ghost, having their garments made white, being pure and spotless before God, could not look upon sin save it were with abhorrence; and there were many, exceedingly great many, who were made pure and entered into the rest of the Lord their God.